Here it is....the first poem I'm putting out there for careful determination and examination.
I'm still unsure if this is the right one to put out there first, but I suppose I have to start somewhere, right?
I am looking for honest feedback. I know the poem is probably not going to come across the same as it does in my mind, but I suppose that's the thing about poetry. It's put down on paper and read by others to create a sense of finding one's self in another's words.
It is one of my shorter poems, but I don't think the length of a poem is what really matters, its the message it sends and how it is received.
So give me honest feedback and let me know if you want to read more.
Shadows on My Wall
When late nights bleed to early mornings,
Infinity leaves its barren eternity
To sneak out into the ebony hallway
And play with the lost souls.
It is in this state of forgetfulness that
The sun shines as
The rain washes away reality.
XOXO
Fair
You should add a bit about what you were feeling when you wrote this piece... preface the poetry with a little bit about you and what you feel and where your mind/heart were at :) I like the poem... but I feel like I need to be directed or "preset" into a certain direction before I read it. :) good stuff!
ReplyDeleteThat's a good idea!!! Thanks hun!!! I think I'll do that and re-post it! :D
ReplyDelete